And our family of 5 becomes 6!

I am not certain where to start with this story. When our 9 year old was born in 2005 we decided that we were done with our family. We had considered adoption since we had married 7 years earlier but figured that we didn't really need to pursue that since we had three beautiful girls already. After making a decision to "permanently" be done growing our family we felt at peace, for about 6 months. 

At that point we realized that we had never really asked God what he wanted us to do with our family. We considered a reversal but the costs were higher then we had the funds for at the time.  We continued on our path, sold our first home, bought our second home in the country with a little over an acre. We soon became busy with maintaining our little farm, coaching soccer teams, and just living life with our family of five. All the while, my heart was crying out for another child. And Adam's heart was too. We began to pray for a miracle intervention for pregnancy. Month after month I would hope that maybe this would be the month God would do something miraculous. We also prayed about the possibility of adoption. 

Adam had a connection with someone who had a family member that was considering adoption for their unborn child and he mentioned that we had been interested in pursing adoption. Well, one conversation led to another and on Christmas morning in 2008 we received an e-mail telling us that the mother would like to meet us. We were so excited. But by New Years Day, the plans had changed and she had decided to keep the baby. We trusted that God knew what he was doing.

Often, I would look at the NW Adoption Exchange (where they introduce you to children waiting for a home in Oregon, Washington, Idaho, and Alaska.) and pray over those sweet children. There were so many that needed a home. I often looked for sibling groups that could fit in to our family. At one point we made an inquiry on a sibling group of 5 children only to find out they had just found a forever home. As time moved on our hearts opened more and more to the idea of adoption but we continued to pray that God would open the doors for us. This was a pretty easy prayer to pray because it didn't really take much effort on our part. 2013 arrived and we felt settled. We believed that God had finally brought us to a place where he wanted us to be. We were slowly paying down debt and becoming more involved in ministry at our church. Adam's job was going very well. My photography business was right where I wanted it to be. We were making connections with people in our community and reaching out at times to help. It was a good year. 

  Welcome to 2014! In January I volunteered to take some maternity pictures at no charge. Though a sweet friend wouldn't let me walk away empty handed! (You know who you are!) The pictures were for a young lady I had met through this friend. She was new to our community, leaving behind a very difficult life. Soon she would be starting a new life with a little baby girl and should be entering a home for young women leaving similar situations that had recently developed in the area. 

  February came and along came this sweet baby girl. I began to offer my help to this new mama who was getting little rest at night and needed a break every now and again. A girl who has never spent time with a baby, yet alone a newborn baby that she is solely responsible for! We would watch this baby one night a week and sometimes during the day on the weekend so her mama could get some much needed sleep.  Our girls immediately fell in love. They enjoyed holding her, feeding her, and talking to her. I didn't mind getting up a few times a night to do the same! She was so fun to have in our home, even for just a little bit. I even took the opportunity to take some adorable images of her when she was just 2 weeks old. 

  Fast forward two months and this girls mama is tired, not certain she made the right decision to parent and has received many disappointments. The opening date of the home she was planning to move in to had been put off for the third time in an effort to make sure everything was in place for the programs they desired to offer. So she has been sleeping in the living room of a friend waiting for her time to come. Then the news that this home would not be able to take a baby into it after all. Another disappointment. She decides to meet with a counselor to talk about possibly giving her baby up for adoption. I drive her to the appointment with a heavy heart. Sad that she feels this is her only option. Sad that she must give up this baby and sad that I don't know how to "fix" it. On the drive home she seems okay about the adoption plan but still comments on finding another home that would take her and her baby. I tell her that it does not seem that she is settled on her decision. Partly she just wants to know who would take the child and wonders what kind of people they would be. She wants it to be someone she knows. I tell her that we had thought about adoption and she asked me if we would please take her. At this point I recognize that this is a decision made out of desperation and not conviction. So I told her we could talk about it. A day goes by and she has changed her mind. She is going to try to figure out a different plan. Over the next month I seem tremendous growth in this girl. I invite her to meet with friend of mine and I for a Bible Study. She offers her life to Christ. And begins to grow as a mom too. She starts the program at the house (even though she can not live there) and many people volunteer to watch her child while she is there. It seems that everything is going as well as it can at the moment. Then, Friday, May 30 I am driving home from work and get a phone call. "Bethany, please! I can't do this anymore" are the words she says. I asked her what she means and she says, I can't keep trying to be a mom. She goes into her reasons and her plans. She wants to know if I can take her to meet the counselor again. I said I would take her there on Monday morning and invite her to come join our family for the evening. When I get to her place to pick her up she has been crying. Her heart is heavy. This sweet baby girl is laying on the daybed next to her and when I sit down, she smiles up at me. I ask if she is ready to go and she says she doesn't want to come over after all. Asks, will I please take the baby home with me. We talk for an hour. I offer to take the precious baby to my house for the weekend so she can think, pray, write. And we plan to talk the next day. 

  On Saturday afternoon she has connected with an adoption counselor and wants me to come to the meeting that evening. I go. At first I think I am there to support this women-child who is hurting. Then I realize she wants me there because she wants us to adopt her daughter. After 2 hours of discussion and plans for her to review other families profiles we head home. She receives 3 family profile books and looks them over. Late that evening the adoption counselor gives me a call and says, "She chose you and Adam." We are stunned. And blessed. And overwhelmed. And blessed! We began the adoption process on Monday by calling a lawyer, getting our homestudy paperwork started and praying a lot! Would you join us in praying over this process? We trust that God has planned amazing things for this little girl. We know He is doing great things in our family. We have so much peace during this time but want to continue on His path and not our own.  Ultimately, we feel that something so much bigger then this adoption is taking place. And though we may not know what that is until further down the road or one day in heaven, we continue to trust.

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